Warning: Dear Reader, before you read this article, I suggest you take a moment to compose yourself, physically and mentally. As an editor, I tend to let writers take full creative liberties when they write. I only now realize that that was a mistake. To anyone born before January 1st, 2010, this article may be profoundly appalling. I warn you now, as once you begin, you can never turn back. – Henry Foley-Hedlund, Lead Humors Editor
The wild halls of Haldane are filled with unpredictable beasts and wonders that defy all logical explanation. But one question has been left unexplained for too long: What is a skibidi toilet? And more importantly: why is skibidi toilet changing schools around the world?! We journeyed deep into the wild world of Gen Alpha slang in order to get the answers for YOU, dear reader!
We started our expedition by asking local Gen Alphas about their day-to-day slang. An anonymous self-proclaimed “leader of Gen Alpha” says that slang is a way for him to express himself when he can’t quite find the words. Another freshman at Haldane delusionally claims not to be a part of Gen Alpha despite being born after the 2010 Gen Z cutoff, and states that it is the use of slang that has been making her go crazy.
However, we, as good Samaritans, must persevere through the dangers of Gen Alpha slang in order to allow these creatures to better integrate into society. We must meet them halfway, and work to understand their vocabulary a little better. Perhaps, in the end, these words will bless our lives with enrichment and discovery. For the incredibly important matter of your education, we have provided definitions to a few of these mysterious terms.
As a bridge to the whole new dimension of Gen Alpha, these words truly transcend literary definitions. We urge you to join your younger counterparts and seek enlightenment through the discovery of what skibidi means to you.
Note from Managing Editor Lincoln Wayland: Henry Foley-Hedlund sent in his resignation as “Lead” Humors Editor following the publication of this article. Foley-Hedlund is now just the Humors Editor.
“God is dead…And we have killed him.” Friedrich Nietzsche
Your Personal Gen Alpha Dictionary
Skibidi Toilet: This term’s meaning changes based on the context, often being used to express that something is “bad” or “cool.” In simpler terms, we have no idea what this phrase means.
Sigma: A “lone wolf” who prefers to operate outside the traditional social structure.
Rizzler: Derived from the root word “Charisma”, meaning one who is especially cultured in the way of romancing the ladies.
Gyatt: The rear end of someone particularly gifted in the buttocks; a curvaceous bottom.
Mewing: The process of flattening one’s tongue against the roof of their mouth so as to create a chiseled silhouette.
Mewing: The process of flattening one’s tongue against the roof of their mouth so as to create a chiseled silhouette.
Erm, what the sigma: A phrase denoting one’s flabbergast at another’s unusual behavior.
